For many years of working with children, I’ve realised that each one of them has their own obsession. Of course, I’m not talking about the phones and social media…:D
Having obsession about a thing, an activity makes them excited, alive and joyful.
We’ve listened to kids talking about their electric bike and how to fix it no matter how hard the problem is for hours. They talk about how fascinating a hard drive is, and they can remember exactly different types of hard drives. They can repeat their moonwalk dance practice hundreds of times or spend the whole night working on their sketches. They can talk to me how wonderful they felt when they could solve a Maths problem or how satisfied they felt after writing a creative story. Talking about these intense interests and actually having room to nurture their obsession makes them excited and alive and joyful.
Okay, I’ll give a tip how to get your child engaged in their homework when they feel bored and flat. Just step away from their work and talk to them about their obsession, that’s when you can bring their positive and exciting energy back.
What if their obsession has nothing to do or is not useful with what they need to do at school
Some children are lucky that their obsession happens to line up with school and society rewards. Most aren’t. I count myself among the lucky ones.
Yesterday when I was carrying a bag of notebooks and pencils for our students, it brought me straight back to my childhood. I’ve always loved to read and write. I still remembered the joy that I had whenever dad took me to the bookstore or my late grandmother walked me the paper factory near her house and let me choose a stack of notebooks to bring home. It’s true that after doing different types of jobs, I feel most aligned and happiest and when I read, write and teach.
This is why I think as parents, paying attention to what your child’s obsession giving children time and space to follow their obsessions, even the ones that may not be useful or lead anywhere now, is one the most important ones. With some thinking out of a box, creativity, training, hard work, and tenacity, obsession becomes a fulfilling career. That’s when they experience Ikigai, the Japanese concept, when four circles overlapping: what you love, what you’re good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. Some obsession stays as hobbies, and that’s enough if it makes them feel alive and connected to who they are.